Remembrance And Mourning For A Lost Relationship
I remember the love and adorations we once had for each other.
I remember the sight of you filling my day with joy.
I remember the sparkle in your eyes,
the laughters we shared,
and the hands that once held tight.
I cry. I sigh. I wither.
I mourn for the loss of your warm embrace that calms me down.
I mourn for the loss of your curiosity that told me I mattered.
I mourn for the possibilities that never happened.
There is a part of me that died alongside our goodbye.
I see you in my mind and wonder,
what could have been for us
if I had known what I know today.
If I had the heart language I needed to connect.
If I had known how to listen to your needs without hearing the blame.
If I had known how to turn anger into requests.
I welcome the hope I see in my future, yet there is a hole in my heart I can’t seem to mend.
It is the lost connection I wish I could have again,
the excited welcome that you once had for me,
and the once enlivening joyful eyes, now filled with grim and gray.
If I could turn back time.
If I could travel through time.
If I had more time.
I sit with my sorrow.
I sit with my grief.
I accept my loss and swallow my tears.
I want to feel safe again.
I want to feel whole again.
I want to know that I am ok being who I am and where I am.
I want to finally feel at home.
~by Sunny Wang, on 28th of February, 2022. CNVC IIT Ireland~
